Saturday, March 17, 2012

No one else can feel it for you.

The following lyrics of the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield caught my attention today:
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned.

Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else
No one else can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes
but I can't live that way.

It's time to put my big girl pants on in life. I've been a baby. A spoiled brat. I've been given a lot. And I've taken it all. Even though I don't need it. I preach a lot, and I rarely practice. That's especially dangerous when you truly don't have much to preach about at all.

The following list includes values and concepts about which I have learned this so far this semester in my classes:
1. Citation
I respect the people whose ideas influence my thinking. In the academic world, they are superior to me; they have unique ideas from which I draw conclusions. I utilize their thinking. To cite an author is not only respectful, it is a duty. And it only makes life easier for both you and for those who utilize your material. The only information worth utilizing is that which is valuable enough to warrant citation. Afterall, if a concept has no ownership, to whom are we to give thanks!
2. Argumentation
Another benefit of citation is its ability to strengthen and solidify a great argument--an argument worth listening to! Again, in the academic world, if I want to be taken seriously I must command respect with my academic mind. I demand all of my professors to be knowledgeable in their fields. How then could I reasonably demand my professors to take me seriously if my own academic knowledge base is weak? I couldn't! The basis of a solid argument is solid knowledge; and solid arguments are the only arguments worth listening to in academia. I want solid arguments, because I want my professors to take me seriously. I must put forth the same effort in my learning as I expect my professors to put forth in their teaching.
3. Independence
In my private life, I want to be independent. Hell, I want to be independent in my academic life too; but I've got a lot of learning to complete before I can stand on the legs of my own teensy knowledge base. In my private life, I am a legal adult. For me, that means the right to behave as an adult is my own. I own those rights, and that ownership is a privilege. My independence is not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. With my independence I can bear fully the brunt as well as enjoy fully the benefits of all choices I make. This means that although I am better able to feel the lows in life, I am also better able to feel the highs. If I am going to experience the sensation of feeling, I am going to feel everything as intensely and as truly as possible. To experience all feelings to their fullest, I need to make my own choices; and to make choices for myself I must act independently based on my own unique arguments.
4. Action
Get out there and live your life. Don't fear the future. Don't regret the past. I dread those two emotions, and yet I allow myself to feel them quite regularly. When I experience those emotions, I am almost always simultaneously stuck in a state of comparison. I compare myself to the greatnesses of others. This is horrible for my self-esteem. So instead of defining myself through the eyes of other people and reinforcing that system of self-hatred, I need to be independent and develop my own definitions. I need to break my mind free of outwardly-driven motivations and instead act from within. And it will take work. I need to cultivate my Self. And I need to take action. I need to participate fully in every aspect of my life. I will accept the so-called 'consequences' as opportunities for growth. Just keep moving forward and growing! Recondition yourself to make mistakes!

Let people feel the way they want to feel, and don't let others tell you how to feel. Your future is in your hands, so own up to it. Live in your own damned shoes, because they only fit you! Everyone is on his/her own personal path of discovery. Stay out of his/her way and focus on your own development. "Cultivate yourself!" It's not a selfish thing. In the long haul, taking care of yourself is better for everyone involved. Quit dumbing yourself down to make others feel better. It's a short-term solution that reinforces a shitty system. Quit assuming that dumbing yourself down would really make others feel better in the long-run. Be the best version of yourself. It's not selfish. It's actually quite kind, I think.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Our deepest fear.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

--Marianne Williamson

"Self-confidence is not a feeling of superiority, but of independence."

--Lama Yeshe

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

--Eleanor Roosevelt

"In fact, we have a tendency to want to put ourselves down to avoid being thought of as self-centered."


Excerpt from And She Sparkled:

"Some people didn't really like that. They had come to depend on her the way she used to be. Now she made some of them uncomfortable, even angry.

'Are people really supposed to listen to their own rhythm and dance?' they asked. 'Or should they march in the quiet lines laid out for them?'

It didn't matter to her. She didn't want to tell anyone else what to do. The only thing that mattered to the woman was the voice of the little girl living in her heart...

whispering softly that she was, indeed, enough. She was magnificent...

and she sparkled."

Excerpt from article, "Want Cheese with that Whine: The Voices of Self-loathing and Self-love":

"You are beauty.

Trust the mystery.

Be curious about what is poetic, playful, sensual, erotic, present, confident and compassionate. It's who you really are.

Believe in your inherent worth.

Honor sadness.

Cultivate joy.

Take your time.

Anticipate kindness.

Look for me, self-love, in others. When you see self-loathing, give them my love. Offer the nurturing and soothing acceptance that they need and perhaps have never had. Help them find me, self-love, in themselves."

Don't fear being great. Some people will look at you and make you feel badly for attempting to break free, but that is only because they are lazy. They simply wish to feel better about themselves and their lack of motivation, and so they find it easier to pull you down into their misery. Stand out from the crowd not simply to stand out, but do it instead for your own well-being. Break free from the 9 to 5!