Saturday, March 17, 2012

No one else can feel it for you.

The following lyrics of the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield caught my attention today:
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned.

Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else
No one else can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes
but I can't live that way.

It's time to put my big girl pants on in life. I've been a baby. A spoiled brat. I've been given a lot. And I've taken it all. Even though I don't need it. I preach a lot, and I rarely practice. That's especially dangerous when you truly don't have much to preach about at all.

The following list includes values and concepts about which I have learned this so far this semester in my classes:
1. Citation
I respect the people whose ideas influence my thinking. In the academic world, they are superior to me; they have unique ideas from which I draw conclusions. I utilize their thinking. To cite an author is not only respectful, it is a duty. And it only makes life easier for both you and for those who utilize your material. The only information worth utilizing is that which is valuable enough to warrant citation. Afterall, if a concept has no ownership, to whom are we to give thanks!
2. Argumentation
Another benefit of citation is its ability to strengthen and solidify a great argument--an argument worth listening to! Again, in the academic world, if I want to be taken seriously I must command respect with my academic mind. I demand all of my professors to be knowledgeable in their fields. How then could I reasonably demand my professors to take me seriously if my own academic knowledge base is weak? I couldn't! The basis of a solid argument is solid knowledge; and solid arguments are the only arguments worth listening to in academia. I want solid arguments, because I want my professors to take me seriously. I must put forth the same effort in my learning as I expect my professors to put forth in their teaching.
3. Independence
In my private life, I want to be independent. Hell, I want to be independent in my academic life too; but I've got a lot of learning to complete before I can stand on the legs of my own teensy knowledge base. In my private life, I am a legal adult. For me, that means the right to behave as an adult is my own. I own those rights, and that ownership is a privilege. My independence is not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. With my independence I can bear fully the brunt as well as enjoy fully the benefits of all choices I make. This means that although I am better able to feel the lows in life, I am also better able to feel the highs. If I am going to experience the sensation of feeling, I am going to feel everything as intensely and as truly as possible. To experience all feelings to their fullest, I need to make my own choices; and to make choices for myself I must act independently based on my own unique arguments.
4. Action
Get out there and live your life. Don't fear the future. Don't regret the past. I dread those two emotions, and yet I allow myself to feel them quite regularly. When I experience those emotions, I am almost always simultaneously stuck in a state of comparison. I compare myself to the greatnesses of others. This is horrible for my self-esteem. So instead of defining myself through the eyes of other people and reinforcing that system of self-hatred, I need to be independent and develop my own definitions. I need to break my mind free of outwardly-driven motivations and instead act from within. And it will take work. I need to cultivate my Self. And I need to take action. I need to participate fully in every aspect of my life. I will accept the so-called 'consequences' as opportunities for growth. Just keep moving forward and growing! Recondition yourself to make mistakes!

Let people feel the way they want to feel, and don't let others tell you how to feel. Your future is in your hands, so own up to it. Live in your own damned shoes, because they only fit you! Everyone is on his/her own personal path of discovery. Stay out of his/her way and focus on your own development. "Cultivate yourself!" It's not a selfish thing. In the long haul, taking care of yourself is better for everyone involved. Quit dumbing yourself down to make others feel better. It's a short-term solution that reinforces a shitty system. Quit assuming that dumbing yourself down would really make others feel better in the long-run. Be the best version of yourself. It's not selfish. It's actually quite kind, I think.


  1. I love this Hayley. We need to talk about life sometime.

  2. I totally agree!!! Its kind weird how everytime you write something i relate almost exactly or very closely to whatever your writing about! :) it makes me smile! Love you ladY!